


Quiet Hours

by CmonCmon



Series: Raising Warriors [15]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Clone Mom and Clone Dad, Developing Relationship, F/M, Healthy Adult Conversation, Rancor Feels, Star Wars AU - Soft Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CmonCmon/pseuds/CmonCmon
Summary: Shaak shows up at Colt's door.
Relationships: Colt (Star Wars)/Shaak Ti
Series: Raising Warriors [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835518
Comments: 36
Kudos: 296
Collections: Open Source Soft Wars





	Quiet Hours

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Project0506](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Project0506/gifts), [Primarybufferpanel (ArwenLune)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenLune/gifts).



> Sure, it would be a lot of fun if Colt and Shaak were the kind of people who just went for what they wanted with no reservations, but that's not them. Healthy Adult Conversation needs to be had.
> 
> As always, thanks to Projie for the wonderful world of [Soft Wars](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683775) and giant thanks to my betas [PrimaryBufferPanel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenLune/works) and Jac (with the secret AO3) but particularly PBP for bearing with me as I rewrote this fic three times...

Colt was almost through the last of the pile of datapads Havoc and Blitz couldn't sign off on and wouldn't bring him in medical. He'd also been at it long enough that his bunk was looking better and better.

His longing look was interrupted by a quick knocking at his door. Three knocks, so not Havoc or Blitz. Colt frowned at the 'pad and pushed himself out of his chair, sparing one glance at his armor neatly racked beside his desk.

“I’m just finishing up--” Colt hit the latch, ready to offer to suit back up if his men needed him. Instead, Shaak stood at his door, the cuffs of her robe caught in her hands like she did when she was anxious. He was in his karking blacks. “Sir, excuse me I didn’t realize…”

Because he would have at least made an effort to look professional in front of his CO.

“Please, Colt.” Her voice was small, flat. “May I come in?”

"Of course, sir." Colt stepped out of the doorway and waved her in. She took a moment to look around his room, and he took a moment to check for any clues as to what was wrong. 

Something was. He'd been off shift for two hours. He was supposed to be asleep by now. Nothing unusual in her attire, no obvious signs of distress. 

Colt looked between the desk and the bed. Neither was a suitable choice, but he finally gestured to the neatly made bed. “If you’d like a seat?”

She sank down on the very edge of the bed, her whole shape suggesting something was very wrong. 

Not something with the cadets, or the Rancor men. His General would have said that first thing. Colt knew her well enough to know it was Shaak sitting on his bunk, not his General.

He took a seat on the other end of the bed and waited a long moment before speaking. “Would you like to tell me about it?”

“And if I said no?” she asked.

She said it like he didn’t do this three nights a week with his own men after nightmares, casualty reports, and stormy nights that sound just a little too much like bombardment. "Would just ask you what I could do to help.” 

That was how this worked. There were a galaxy full of problems he couldn't solve, but when someone sought him out, it was to get what they needed to get through the night. Colt would do that any way he could.

But she needed to tell him something for him to help. “Sir.” 

Shaak shook her head. “Please.”

_ Ah. _

“Shaak,” he tried again and she relaxed by inches. Colt held out his hand. “If you would allow it-- if it would help?” 

If she was a brother, he’d throw an arm around her, press her close to his side until the words started coming, and then tuck her into his bunk until she felt like she could face the world again. But she wasn’t a brother, and he didn’t know how different the rules were for Jedi. Comming Cody or Gree was out of the question with her sitting beside him. He could only do his best.

She took his hand in both of hers, holding on like it was a lifeline. Not a mistake then.

But also not enough. Colt kept a hand on her, resting one comfortingly on her shoulder as he drew his hand back to shift next to her on the bed and wrap her in his arms. She still hadn’t spoken, and he forced himself not to push. 

Unlike his brothers, there was no one here to do this for her. No one to offer a casual touch, no one to hold her when she felt like she might fall apart. No one but him now.

“Quinlan’s undercover again.” She spoke, soft and even like it wasn’t reason enough to drive her into his rooms in the middle of the night. “Somewhere on Dantooine.” Her robes couldn’t hide the slight tremor that moved through her. “He’s missed his check in.”

_ Ah. _ There really was nothing he could do to help. Colt believed Quinlan was very good at what he did, whatever he did. But this was war, and sometimes, it didn’t matter how good. Colt wrapped her more firmly in his arms. 

He could send men. Rancor would do anything for their General. Sending a few squads out to look for a missing ally was well within his means, even after they’d fought on their own turf. Blitz and Havoc weren’t right for the job, but Hammer could lead a small team. Colt would need more specifics, but it could be done. 

But that wasn’t his to offer. Not yet. Colt watched her, Shaak’s eyes downcast, her hands gripping his. Still so silent. It wasn’t like either of them were particularly chatty the rest of the time, but this silence was full of the words she was holding back, and he didn’t know if he should help her let go of them.

“The council believes something has happened to him.” Shaak watched him like he could possibly have some answer for this. 

Colt didn’t know Quinlan Vos well, but everything about him shouted he was a man who knew how to get himself into trouble, but also how to get himself out. But this was war. 

Before he could say something useless, she drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I shouldn’t have brought this to your door.” 

Colt bit back a protest. He wanted her to come to him any time she needed him, but he hadn’t had enough time to figure out how to give her what she needed.

“You have felt the same about your own brothers often enough.” She went on. “I have had two days to make my peace with this knowledge. My place is here, and there is no reason for me to interfere without the council’s judgement.” 

She wasn’t leaving because of him, and she hadn’t shaken off his arm.

Shaak’s voice was low and soft. “I apologize.”

“For what?” Needing someone, needing closeness, was natural. Probably even for a Jedi.

“I should be meditating. I should be able to accept these feelings and handle them appropriately.” This time she did shift, sitting a hair more apart from him, but still holding his hand. “A Jedi is supposed to be in control of their emotions.” 

“So’s a clone.” Colt couldn’t help a little smile. There wasn’t a brother decanted who didn’t think he should be stronger. He should be able to do it alone. That didn’t mean they couldn’t fall apart in the arms of a brother they trusted. “We don’t bother with that around our own.”

“Colt.” She said his name breathlessly, and he realized what he’d said. 

But he wouldn’t take it back. Anyone who didn’t think she was one of his could say the words to his face and see what happened next.

But she might not be in a place to hear it. 

“If it’s too much…” His arms loosened a fraction, but he didn’t let go. She was a warrior, and a Jedi. If she didn’t want to be in his arms, she wouldn’t be. “I’d never push, but you don’t have to keep those things from us. From me.”

If she needed to be fragile in front of someone, Colt would be honored to be her choice.

There was another tremble through ther, and Shaak leaned closer. It wasn’t enough. She was still holding back and if she was upset enough to come to him, he needed to do more than sit with her.

“Have you slept?” She’d said it’d been two days. That was a long time to keep something like this inside. “Slept since you heard?”

“I meditated.” 

That was precisely what he’d expected. “Not the same.”

And also the reaction she expected, judging from her little rueful smile. 

“He’s good at what he does. A warrior.” Colt had kept an eye on comms chatter. Faie called Quinlan a reckless bastard, but it wasn’t exactly an insult. 

Colt let go of her and stood up, pulling his comms unit off the desk. Blitz and Havoc would need to know to handle any issues for the rest of the night. “If you want to go after him, I could have a company of volunteers ready to deploy in under an hour.”

She shook her head. He hadn’t expected a yes. Despite the stories his fellow CCs told of their reckless Jedi, he knew she wouldn’t agree to send her troopers off on a half-baked plan. She wasn’t that kind of Jedi. He would. If she asked. It was one of the few ways he really could try to help.

“Fair enough.” Colt dropped to his knee beside the bed and caught one of her boots in his hands. “May I?” Just the act of touching her without asking first felt like a trespass, but she seemed to need the reassurance of contact. Until she said otherwise, he’d treat her like he would one of his brothers. He grinned up at her. “You can keep them on, but I’d rather you be comfortable for your nap.”

Shaak nodded, even as she argued. “Am I having a nap?”

“Only if you want. A wise Jedi once told me to take care of myself if I wanted to help others.” He picked the buckles open, and tugged the heavy-soled boots off one at a time. He’d never thought to appreciate her sensible choice in footwear before, but then he’d never undressed her like this. “But as your commander, I am going to insist on a lie down.” He set both boots under his rack off to the side out of habit. That was where he always put his, and there was some small thrill in seeing her things in his space like that.

“You are still recovering.” Her look would have been pouting, but Colt wasn’t sure Jedi pouted. “What will you do?”

“I’ve got work to do.” He might read the occasional datapad in his bunk, but Shaak was currently in his bunk. And in his bunk because she was struggling with her emotions and needed care and closeness. 

Not in his bunk for any other reason, and only a real shabuir would confuse one for the other. 

Colt was lifting her legs on to the bed when she said, “You could join me while you work.” 

“While I work?” Colt repeated.

“Otherwise, this hardly seems like a fair arrangement.” She scooted herself off to one side.

Shaak was laid out in his bunk, fully clothed other than her boots, and Colt did the calculations. Then he threw the numbers out the airlock. Colt fussed at this desk to give himself a moment to steady his hands before sitting to undo his own boots. “Can’t be unfair, can we?”

His boots went next to hers under the foot of the bed. That made the moment his General knocked on his door in the middle of the night feel far too much like a fantasy he would never allow himself. 

He gathered up his stack of datapads and paused by the side of the bed. “Room for two?”

She smiled up at him. _From his bunk._ _With her head on his pillow_. Colt had to grip the ‘pads closer so they didn’t clatter to the floor.

“I suppose we can find a bit more space.” She barely bit back a smile. “It is yours after all.” 

She shifted further and on to her side. Colt eased himself down, shifting the arm on his healing side around her carefully. “This good?” 

He was on his back, one arm bent for her to wrap around her if she chose. Even to his own ears, he sounded breathless.

“Are you--” Shaak gestured at his side. Maybe she sounded just a touch breathless. “I could…”

“Yes.” He closed his arm around her, and Shaak fit her shoulder under his arm, resting her head just barely on his chest. Her name slipped out like a plea. “Shaak.” 

She lifted her head. “Not good?”

“Good.” So karking good he should be ashamed of himself. She let her head rest more solidly on him and Colt held her more firmly. “Yeah.” He licked at his dry lips and tried to focus on the mindless paperwork in his hand. “It’s good.” Colt’s hand smoothed his free hand down her arm. “Rest.”

“While you work.” She pressed closer, one of her lek draped along the edge of his chest. Shaak snuggled closer, breathing growing deep and steady as she relaxed against him. “You smell better.”

“Hmm?” His hand was still stroking her arm. Colt saw a shiver down her lekku. “Are you cold? I can get the blanket.”

“Not cold. You’re so warm.” Shaak’s fingers curled in his blacks, holding him where he was and Colt etched the moment into his memory. “The vibrations from your voice in my montrals.” Her hand uncurled, petting down the front of his top. “It’s nice.” 

“Good.” He shifted slightly so he could watch the low rumble of the words set off another shiver. “And I don’t smell bad.” Colt was teasing. The idea that he  _ could  _ tease her, could make her shiver in his arms, was heady.

“You smell better. Healthier,” she corrected. “Everyone’s scent changes when they aren’t well.” 

He hmm’ed his agreement, and turned his attention back to his datapad, but this time her shiver came with a little laugh, part giggle, part snort. “Does that tickle? I’m learning so many things.”

When she didn’t reply right away, Colt shifted to check he hadn’t accidentally offended.

She was already watching him. “Does that make you uncomfortable? That we are so different?”

Colt shook his head, the ‘pad ignored in his other hand. 

“No.” He searched for more words, better ones that could explain. Colt wasn’t the smart one. He wasn’t even the outspoken one. He wanted her to know that he appreciated her as she was, but not that he was assuming what she was. “You are different.” His words were slow, careful. “I enjoy learning the differences.”

“But?” She couldn’t have been reading his mind because his mind hadn’t gotten that far along yet. 

Colt sighed, another intimate vibration across her montrals, this one completely unintended. “I’ve spent most of my life surrounded by clones. Same… everything. There’s a lot I don’t know.” He dropped his eyes from her face to her hand still resting on his chest. “I would hate to offend you. Disappoint you.”

Shaak shifted up onto her elbow, her hand resting on the center of his chest. Closer to the anxious thump of his heart. “Is that why you are so hesitant?”

Oh he’d never deny that. 

“Can you blame me?” He set the ‘pad down, reaching out to trace the curve of her facial marking with one careful fingertip. “There are a hundred of me out there who would be better for you.” 

Shaak’s reaction was an instant, protective flattening of her hand on his chest. “You and your brothers are not interchangeable.” 

He dropped his hand from where he’d been tracing her marking. “I didn’t mean to imply you thought…”

“Colt.” Shaak leaned into his side, somehow still careful of his healing injury. The feel of her moving closer instead of further away was reassuring in a way he knew he should be ashamed to admit, but he wasn’t. “Each of your brothers are unique in the Force. I am not in your room because I choose to make do.”

He winced at the wording, true as he knew it was.

“I am in your room, in your bunk, because I choose to be with you.” Shaak’s thumb traced his lower lip and Colt didn’t dare breathe. “I am different from what you know. By my rank, I am in no position to comfortably ask anything… personal of you.” She made a sad little laugh and Colt pressed a kiss to her thumb. “It took me far too long to convince myself knocking on your door was not overstepping.”

“I’m glad you decided to.” The words were not enough to say how glad.

“So am I.” 

“And this is not overstepping.” His voice was low and gravely, and this time the fresh shivers rattled through her were completely intentional. 

“And you will not disappoint me.” Shaak dragged her nails lightly through his short hair, and Colt felt chillbumps break out across his skin. She couldn’t know how good that felt, but maybe someone else had told her. “If you aren’t sure, ask. That will never offend me.”

“Yes, sir.” It slipped out, warm and sweet. He didn’t call her ‘sir’ because he had to. He called her sir because Colt didn’t know a better word to contain his respect and admiration. He leaned closer to press a kiss on her lips. “Think you can rest like this?”

Shaak kissed him in return, and Colt was sure he could get far too used to this. “Think you can work like this?”

“I did not offer you my bed with plans for anything more.” Colt shifted and Shaak fit herself against him again. “Not this time.”

Shaak shifted, and her lekku lay across his chest. “Nothing more?”

Colt’s chuckle in response was a knowing rumble. “Not tonight. Falling into bed with a friend when someone you care about is in trouble is a vode tradition I would rather not carry on with you.”

The pause was long enough he had an apology on his lips. She spoke before it came out. “I see your point.”

His hand went back to petting her as he flipped through the document on the ‘pad, but his mind was working. The best way to make sure she could rest easy was to solve the problem. Risking his own men on an sanctioned mission was not either of their style. There had to be spare troopers somewhere closer, and Vos had enough ties to the Vode someone would be willing to quietly go look around for him. At some point in the petting and plotting, Colt felt her hand start to brush the front of his shirt. But that didn’t make sense, since one hand was resting in the center of his chest and the other was idly combing through the short hair at the back of his neck.

He looked down to see her lekku lazily shifting further across his stomach. “Never realized they could move like that.” Colt was staring. He knew it, but he also couldn’t help himself.

“My apologies.” She moved to scoop her lekku off of him, but he shifted his free hand to still hers.

“Leave them. Please” Colt set the pad beside him and reached out cautiously. “Can I touch them?”

“Please.” 

Colt stroked one finger along a band of her marking. “They are soft.” He repeated the gesture, this time running a finger along the length of the lek. They felt like her skin but finer, more fragile.

The lek twitched in response, and his gaze jumped to her face.

“They are… responsive.” There was just a hint of fangs as she smiled. “That tickled.” 

“Responsive?” He echoed, raising a brow. “Thought those were just trooper stories.” For a bunch of vode who had never seen a female who didn’t make them in a jar or train them, the troops had a lot of ideas about the purposes of other species’ anatomy. He wouldn’t offend Shaak by telling her what the rumors were about a Togruta’s lekku. He liked where he was laying too much to end up on the duracrete floor.

“A bit of both.” She couldn’t suppress a laugh at that. “They are sensitive, but touching them like that likely doesn’t feel any different than this.” Shaak gently dragged her nails along his scalp to rise another round of chillbumps on his skin. “I believe those stories that you have heard are mostly about the undersides of lekku.”

Colt went still as he considered the implications of her words. ”I see.” 

That meant she knew what people said about her lekku. And that she’d tested it. And that it was at least a little bit true. And that one day he might know which parts were true. Colt was certain he was blushing as he looked at where his hand rested lightly beside her lek, which he had just been touching. “But this isn’t…?”

“This feels nice,” she assured him, so Colt resumed stroking cautiously like it was the tail of an unfamiliar tooka. Shaak snuggled closer. “I may fall asleep.” 

“Even better,” he rumbled, lips an intentional hair’s breadth from her montrals. 

“You’re doing this on purpose.” She was melting comfortably against his side.

“I am.” He shifted to keep her more firmly against his side and let that arm take over the slow, gentle strokes of her lek. He needed the other hand back, unfortunately. “And I’ll put a comm out to see who’s near Dantooine and can keep an eye out for a cocky Jedi who might need backup.”

“It’s a Jedi matter.” It was more on an observation than a command, her face burrowed into the meat of his shoulder. “You don’t have to…"

“No sir, I don’t have to,” he agreed as she drifted off. Colt was pretty sure Neyo was somewhere in that part of the galaxy, and he’d love a good explosion or two. “But I will.”

She was too soundly asleep to argue.

**Author's Note:**

> In case folks haven't noticed, my bite-sized 1.5k fic have gotten pretty weighty, so I'm working a bit slower these days. I'm still ahead of the curve so hopefully I will be back on posting schedule from here forward.
> 
> There will also be a few fics with adult content. While they will be part of the story, they will be optional reads, so those of you not into that kind of thing, don't worry about missing anything.


End file.
